COMING SOON!!! *DON'T MISS OUT!!!*

DREAMGIRLS

June 26th- August 1st

@Trustus Theatre

520 Lady Street

Columbia, South Carolina

 

(Left to Right) Kristin Claiborne (Deena Jones), Avery Bateman aka 'Ms. Avery Baby'

(Lorrell Robinson), and Jazmine Ayers (Effie White)

And I'm telling you...TICKETS ARE ON SALE FOR "DREAMGIRLS" - visit to www.trustus.org guarantee your seats early! Photo by Rob Sprankle

"DreamGirls" Tickets are on sale NOW!!! Go ahead and get them before it's too late! You do NOT want to miss this production!!! I am too excited! This is my first time EVER as Lorrell Robinson and this is my first time EVER getting the opportunity to perform in Dream Girls! I hope most of you will be able to make it out!
Again, Go to www.trustus.org to get your seats and reserve!!!

<3 <3 <3

Is It True? Are Black Women Submissive to White Men???

So. Today's blog is about the title you see up top. Yes. Yes I'm going there.
I honestly do not know where to begin with this one. Let's see...

1.) Let's stop talking "Submissive" as if Women are Dogs that need to be 'Handled'.

• First off, I gonna need ALL men to get out of their heads that Black women are any different from White women when it comes to interracial dating. If the woman is quite and subtle and passive aggressive with one man chances are she is going to remain same person when she's with the other. If she is loud and opinionated with one man then she's going to remain loud and opinionated with the other man. Women do not need to be handled nor need to submit to anyone. Women, whether in a relationship or single, need to be treated equally, not any lower or higher than a Man.

2.) Referring back to #1: Why is it that BLACK women are the ones who are Referred to as Loud, Opinionated, Obnoxious, and that we have Attitudes?

• Okay. White women have are and can be just as Loud and Opinionated and Obnoxious as the next Black Woman. And not to mention I've known a good number of White women who have stronger attitudes than some Black women. It does not matter the color of the skin or the Ethnicity; a bird is a bird, a duck is a duck, a person is a person, and Woman is a Woman.

3.) Referring to the video and the answer of #2: Why is it that Black women AREN'T portrayed more like the women in the first part of the video???

• It seems that America only sees black women portrayed on Social Media as being loud, Ignorant, Ratchet, Uncouth, they have more than 2 baby-daddies, they always want to fight...etc. And so the list of stereotypes continues. The girls in the first part of the video are very well-spoken, beautifully dressed, have well put-together faces, they seem to live comfortably, and are dark to light beautiful Black women. I feel like whether they are with a White Man or a Black Man or even if they're single that Black Women like them (like Us) should be presented on Social Media More. Those are the type of Black women America should see more of. Those are the types of Black Women America should be pushing more to see and show when Entertaining or Delivering Information.
  Whoever created this video? Why would you choose to show the Black Women who are obviously less-educated, less-groomed for society, and unfortunate in their upbringings being abused and disrespected by their fellow less-educated, less-groomed for society Black Man? To compare to a classier, well-educated, well-put together Black Woman being loved and respected by a White man? Those are two horrible comparisons! Why not show the Well-educated, well-put together Black Woman with a fellow well-educated, put-together Black Man? And or show a loud obnoxious White Woman with a loud obnoxious Black Man? You see the options? You won't see a difference in the attitudes and personality types. Why not show a video stating,
  "Is it True that it does not matter what race you are? That if you just treat a Woman right she'll be loyal and loving and true? What are we, as Men, doing wrong? What should we learn to do to get better? Take a look at these happy Couples. See how their Woman (Black or White) is being so kind?" <--- I, honestly, like that title better.

•  Forget Race. An unworthy man will abuse his woman no matter how he does it. An unworthy woman will go against her man no matter how she chooses to go about it. A worthy Man will respect his Woman no matter the issue no matter the state of power. A worthy Woman will not backlash her Man and will stand by him and support him through thick and thin.
  This feels like a way for Black Men to "Get their Women back" if you will. I'm not saying they lost us or that they will continue to lose us, because there are some beautiful brothas out there deserving of a beautiful sista to steal their hearts. And vice versa. However, only a desperate Man would create this video to tell both Black and White men (and yes this is sending the WRONG message to White Men as well) that..."White Men, you just keep being you, and your Black lady will never have attitudes with you nor will she act Ratchet" OR "You can get a good Black woman if you're a White Male. Black Men, You're screwed!"

4.) I am a Black Woman who has dated both Black and White Men. I had been raised to not see color. And, honestly, even before my parents said "Avery, we just want you to find a good man who will make you happy and respect you and those you care about." at a very young age I never saw color; whether it was towards my friends or those I dated.

• I am a Black Woman who is in a very serious long-term relationship with my WHITE boyfriend. We've been together for going on 3 years. We have been through our up's and down's; and we have survived the storms. BUT that does not mean we didn't get into it here and there. I've been raised to speak with proper grammatical-knowledge. I've been raised to cross my legs when I sit down, to say 'excuse me' or 'bless you' with each meal and each sneeze. I've been raised to know my worth and to never allow anyone to disrespect me. I've been raised to respect my elders and to protect the young. I've been raised to know that as a Black Woman people will always be watching and judging me way more than other women who look different. I was raised to know that, whether he be a Black or White man, if he doesn't respect me I know not to even bother. I was raised to obey the law and to Respect my neighbor. I was raised to know KARMA is real. I was raised to not have children in wedlock; and if I did/do to have that baby with ONE man. I was raised to respect my body so that men will do the same. I was raised to respect my space so that others may do the same. The point of it all is that I was RAISED. The women at the end of the video were not. And that's not fair to point Black Women out in that sort of light.

• My boyfriend is a White Man. He is the only Son of an 'Only Son' German Man from FL. Billy was raised to respect Women of any culture/race/background. He loves Black Women; he always has (And always will ;)). <-- What can I say? My man has good taste. He was raised to open the door for women, and to never call a woman out of her name. He was raised to keep his cool when stress becomes overwhelming and to take charge of decisions because he is a Man. He was raised to never allow another man to make me smile. He is a good Man.
• I am a Black woman with all of these unique qualities/characteristics/traits. And He is a (White) Man who has been nurtured with these defining qualities. And as proper as we have been raised, as fine as we turned out, my boyfriend and I still act like those couples shown at the end of the video (NOT abusive...just loud and in each others' faces [haha]).
  We scream. We holler. We even get so mad as to call each other out on our shit and call each other a name here and there that we know the other will get pissed about. As couples we will all always fight because we're around each other 24/7; we know how to get under each others' skin. That's normal. Why not show the normality? Why make it about Race?



That is my RANT for the Day. To just sit there and pin-point One race or One gender based on ONE piece of evidence without proper comparison/contrasting is just false advertising if you will. I'm all about the truth. (Person who Created the video) Get at me when you create a video Comparing Good Interracial Couples vs. Good Same Race Couples and or Bad Interracial Couples vs. Bad Same Race Couples.
Get Creative IDIOT!!!

Peace and Love,

Avery Baby

Soul Sistas

So...
   I've been a little in my emotions these past 2 weeks. I've been feeling "Out-of-Place" with my colleagues and, up until now, with the people that I'd been calling my close friends. No lie, I've been feeling some type of way towards the people who are the closest to me. And, as usual, when I begin to feel certain spectrums of my life shift,  I turn towards reading my horoscopes and planetary signs.
***SIDE NOTE: I am really intrigued by anything having to do with Astrology and Astronomy. I am always down for finding out new information having to do with Birth Personality traits and Western and Eastern Astrology.***
   I  read my Chinese horoscope last night before bed. I'm am born under the year of the Earth Snake. I am literally an Earth Sign through and through (haha...have fun with that). Most of which means I'm stubborn, I'm steadfast, I'm cautious, and consistent. While I was reading my personality traits I got to the part about Earth Snakes in Relationships (Romantic/Family/Friendship).

                  "Essentially loners, Snake people commonly keep their own counsel and rely on themselves to get ahead in life, mistrusting others' thoughts and opinions on matters of the utmost importance."(Chiff.com)

I thought about that for a bit. I'm not a 'loner' type of person though. I am most def. the type of girl who loves to go out dancing or have a drink or two with a girlfriend/friend. I love going shopping and going to the movies and spending time with my closest friends to just chill and talk about life. I an also most def. the girl to go to for an intelligent conversation; I crave it all the time. Capricorns get this same depiction of being 'loner types' and or 'secretive' and 'non-trusting'. And each time I read that description I protest against it. Because I don't feel myself to be anything like that; or at least not to the extreme of what my Signs had been describing. 

   As I scrunched my face at the bit of information I gathered on my Chinese Horoscope I thought about the meanings for a bit. And then it did hit me. I actually am a loner. (Sad Face). ONLY because of the very reasons listed. I truly, do NOT, trust as easily as others. I'd been hurt and broken so many times by the people I loved that I just automatically closed myself off from others; piece by piece. And then in the process I'd become bitter when I noticed I was being left out. I read the part about mistrusting others and being loners. Yes, I love to go out and spend time with friends and such, but I mean... and I asked myself this...how many times do [I] go out and have drinks and partake in intelligent conversations with just anybody? Not often. I mean, I can hold my own in social settings and I can make anyone feel like we're best friends. However, for someone to be able to truly get to know everything about me, to truly break through my barriers and get with me on a more personal/intimate level, is an achievement; Seeing as how I only let in who I let in and I only allow people to know certain information about myself on my terms. It's difficult to open up new and old wounds to potential friends because I hate being put in positions that allow me to feel vulnerable; a.k.a I hate when people know certain things about me and then later on use my words against me. I've learned my lesson for what feels like thousands of times.

                  "In matters of the heart, the Snake is slow to allow others into their inner circle, but once having gained their trust they can be deeply amorous, and are known to be masters at seduction." (Chiff.com)

     This part is also true. Once I do allow someone into my circle, my element, my world- if you will- I am a loyal friend/lover to the end (Or at least I try my damndest to be). I love catering to people that I care for when I can. And I like (better word), 'expect' for the same amount of affection to be reciprocated. Is that so much to ask???  I know and believe that whatever I put out into the universe will come back to me 10 times fold. So...I ask myself...where's my love???
     Now...this is not me in any way complaining about my love life. I placed the previous quote in order to explain my latent sour feelings towards the people who, lately, have not been acting as true friends in my life. I find Friendship to be way more intimate than romantic partnership. Because I feel like when I call someone my "friend", they are somebody I feel myself around without fear of being judged or being manipulated to change. A friend to me is someone I consider to be so beautiful that to be parted from them for long periods of time makes me anxious and sad. A friend is someone who knows all of my secrets and shares all of theirs with me. A friend is someone who- no matter what they are doing or what I'm doing- takes the time to invite me places or goes out of their way to make me smile (and vice versa). And last but not least, tying into what I mentioned before, A friend (if they become blessed enough to make it to this level) makes the best lover! Because if you, in general, know they'll go out of their way to make you smile in regular settings, imagine what that friend will do for you in your most vulnerable states? Examples: They will hold you and be there for you when you cry and help you to not feel alone. You feel 5 times more exhilirated when they are there to support everything you do; not to mention they totally make you feel more confident in yourself than anyone else could. Sex will be emotional and you both will connect on an even deeper level (With sex there are no secrets. Everything is laid out on the table. With sex there is no 'hiding' the love you have for that person. So if you both recognize each others' love for one another when speaking, imagine how making love would feel with that one person who just gets you.). Friendship, I feel, is the foundation for most successful relationships long-term romantic.
                  "Jealous in nature, they do not handle rejection well at all. And woe to those who betray the affection of the passionate snake! Even in friendships or business dealings in which they feel wronged, they can strike back without a moments notice." (Chiff.com)
      I most definitely fit this description. I do. And I recognize that. When I go out of my way to refer to someone as my 'friend' I just expect them to act like it. And so when that 'friend' hurts me in some way shape or form they got me looking at them sideways like, "You sure I can trust you?".  I don't often go around calling just anyone my 'best friend' let alone my 'friend'. And it's like,  
                 "You know me! You know that NOT inviting me anywhere when I invite you to everything is RUDE. You know that I hate secrets. At least if we're friends you should never have to feel like you need to keep something from me. You should be able to talk about anything with me. And then DO NOT tell me I can talk to you about anything and everything and then not give 0 f***s about my secrets in the end. Also...You know I hate giving out my clothes for people to borrow...so WHY have you not given my clothes back in going on 7 months??? You're supposed to know everything about me friend...so where you at???"
And no matter how much I improve, we always end up with the same conclusion. I don't like confrontation. So instead of saying what's on my mind then and there I let it sit. You know...hoping that this 'friend' would feel my sense of pissieness and fix their side of the issue. They don't because they're too self-absorbed. Then I blow up. No more friendship. Because I can't ever seem to choose the friends who accept me and love me for who I am and who are able to have a full blown argument with me and then forgive me the next day (it's always one-sided).
                 "As they mature, snakes don't exhibit this tendency often, however, since their experience will already have taught them who to let in and who to exclude from their personal or business life." (Chiff.com)
      I read this part and sighed a little. I used to have so many girlfriends. I really did. And ever since I can remember I never found it hard to make more friends. But the more girls I allowed in my life, the more trouble. And honestly it's not just women who cause drama. It was really just the type of people I chose to place my trust in. And I've learned through life's experiences so far that I'd rather be alone and have respect from others than have all the friends in the world and none of them reciprocate the same amount of love I give them. For some reason I've always been good at detecting when people will screw me over or when they will prove that they weren't worthy of being my friendship to begin with. But each time I'm still the one being left out or set aside; like a second thought. I want to have that close net of sisterhood again. That same feeling I had when I would take roadtrips with my besties. That feeling of staying up waayy past my bedtime talking to my best girlfriend who gets every weird part about me. My current bestfriend is my boyfriend. But sometimes I just don't count him because not only is he my lover and friend but...he's a man. And sometimes, no matter how much we're around one another and the fact that we live together, being my man in the same house as me is not enough. I need a fellow female aura around. I need my next 'Soul Sista' to say the least. I need that one person who just really recognizes my soul. Namaste: 'My Soul recognizes yours'. I'm feeling that need to reach out. I've been keeping myself distant- not on purpose but subconsciously- for far too long. It's time for me to back off of those who obviously want nothing important to do with or in my life and time for me to reach out to those who genuinely want to be a positive force in my atmosphere.
      I'd been feeling some type of way because I've been seeing all of these photos pop up on my FB newsfeed of friends hanging with each other without me (after they said we'd all get together), girlfriends out and about enjoying the town and loving life. I may not trust easily but if I trust you enough to call you my friend  then we should be smooth sailing from there. And the excuses are Bullshit too. "Oh I'm so busy. You know how it is?" or "I just felt like maybe you didn't want to come...? Like I didn't think you'd be into it." No. NO. Yea I may be too busy to take advantage of the outing invite, but best believe I'd appreciate it more that you thought about me even if I turned it down. You're so busy my butt! If you were soo busy, too busy to keep up with me or to make the effort, but yet you totally found enough time to invite those people in the photo sharing drinks with you! You had enough time to text/call that other friend that (you met through me...I might add)!

YOU decided to assume I would say 'NO' to something that I'd usually say 'YES' to??? WTF??? It's like no one knows how to be a good friend anymore. It's not difficult. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. A lot of you can say "Avery, you're being dramatic." or "Avery, it's not that serious. You're really being sensitive over people leaving you out? Go out and do something!". Yes. But who wants to do shit by themselves??? I'm not THAT much of a loner ya'll. I love the company of fellow friends.
       Now don't get me wrong, I actually DO have friends (haha). <---These people just so happen to either not live in the same city as me or they have children (lol). I love them to death. I understand that when it comes to my friends who are further away or who are currently going through situations that I've yet to experience (aka motherhood/parenthood) it's difficult to keep up with one another so on those rare times when we are actually able to see each other is special and we take advantage of every moment we have together. But for those who are around, who are able to see me if they'd just get off their lazy asses, or who are able to speak to me if they'd call (or call back!!!), are the ones I no longer have time for. I'm finished feeling like the only one who tries.
       I don't know...This is not me seeking attention but rather ranting about the changes in my life. Getting it off of my chest, if you will. I'm going to back off. From now on, I'm going to reach out to those with 'like-minds' and thoughts. I've never been the girl to not be friends with someone because they think differently or because they look different. Nor have I ever been the one to be friends with someone who judges, or with a person who has no set goals in life. I find friendships like that to be pointless and frustrating. From now on I want to become closer to those who will not judge me nor try to change me. To people who have 'like-minds' and 'like-thinking'; and if they so happen to think differently they at least need to be able to accept me fully for all that I am.

(Just something I had to say...)
~Avery


***For any other details on Chinese Horoscopes/Traits go to this site: (below)***
http://www.chiff.com/home_life/holiday/chinese-new-year-snake.htm

Time is Precious

    So...a lot has happened in the past few weeks. My life has definitely taken a turn for the better but the work, as usual, seems to have piled heavier on top of me. Each day I look at my schedule and make a new entry into a specific time slot and each time I do that I feel so accomplished. I mean, I actually like keeping myself busy, or at least I feel like I like it because that's how I've grown accustomed to being; since age 5, I might add. However, I do not like being overloaded; there is a difference between staying busy and becoming overwhelmed. And for some reason I cannot seem to get the two to not coincide.
    I was thinking to myself...'Why can I not be able to make any kind of plans without them overlapping with another commitment?' or 'Do I somehow have a way of chronically scheduling myself so as to not ever be put in the position to feel bored or unproductive?' All of this causes me mad stress! My pediatrician (at age 6 or 7- around the time when my parents placed me in ballet), told my parents "She's going to need to find an outlet; something that can keep her preoccupied but still be that source that she can take her energy out on. If Avery does not find a way to express herself, a way to exert that energy and keep her mind focused on one thing at a time, she will always find something else that will allow her the ability to express herself (whether it be good for her or not) and will over-exert herself."
Talk about seeing the future. Well he hit my personality dead on the head. I seem to always find myself in these predicaments where I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off because I'm too busy trying to make all commitments happen punctually and effortlessly; without any overlaps. FAIL.
FAIL.
FAIL.
FAIL.
I FAIL at all of that (haha). This is not me showing self-pity or discouraging myself, this is me acknowledging the premonitions of past practitioners from my younger days.
    I finally stopped yesterday and took a nice little mental look at my life. And while doing so I noticed how extremely blessed I am to have multiple opportunities at work, multiple opportunities at finding work in my profession, as well as having people (Both family and friends alike) in my life who support everything that I do; not everyone has that and for that I'm grateful. Nevertheless, now that I've praised the amount of blessings I've received and the amount I'm continuing to receive, I still notice that I have an unhealthy habit of wanting to do EVERYTHING all at once. I want to show everyone ALL of my skills and talents! HOW do I fix that? How do I help myself find a way to not be so wound up and to just breathe and calm down? And to take everything and everyday only ONE day at a time?
    I promised myself I would hardcore get back into my painting and meditation this year. And after my sudden realization of the lack of control I have over my hectic life, now seems like a good time to continue that promise even harder than before. I have begun the rehearsal process for the current show I'm in, Dream Girls. I have to commit full awareness, my physical energy for dancing, my vocal energy for singing, and my spiritual energy for my state of mind and sanity (O.o). The show opens June 26th so needless to say I have time to get my shiz together (lol); before rehearsals become way more intense in the upcoming months. I have also been signed by a Model and Talent agency here in the City!!! (Super STOKED) And they already have a few shoots lined up for me. Right now, my career is traveling Up! Up! And AWAY! Yet...my energy continues to lag behind. With everything going on all at once as these months progress, I need to find a way to stay grounded.
SO...
My goal?
Everyday before waking up I will do 10 minutes of Yoga and breathing meditations.
When I come home I will meditate for 5 minutes to get my mindset out of the "work-cycle".
Afterwards, I will draw or paint...whichever comes first.
Then I will see where I go from there. I'm going to keep a log of my progress and my time management throughout the month (weekly).
Here goes...

Peace and Love,
Avery